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September 8, 2012

manifold



manifold man·i·fold [man-uh-fohld]

adjective

1. of many kinds; numerous and varied: manifold duties.
2. having numerous different parts, elements, features, forms, etc.: a manifold program for social reform.
3. using, functioning with, or operating several similar or identical devices at the same time.
4. (of paper business forms) made up of a number of sheets interleaved with carbon paper.
5. being such or so designated for many reasons: a manifold enemy.

noun

6. something having many different parts or features.
7. a copy or facsimile, as of something written, such as is made by manifolding.
8. any thin, inexpensive paper for making carbon copies on a typewriter.
9. Machinery . a chamber having several outlets through which a liquid or gas is distributed or gathered.
10. Philosophy . (in Kantian epistemology) the totality of discrete items of experience as presented to the mind; the constituents of a sensory experience.


I'm familiar with the use of the word as "many", but the first thing that comes to mind is the exhaust manifold on a car. The exhaust manifold taught me a couple of lessons, one being it's always best to let an engine cool down before working on it and two, that I didn't like working on cars, hot engine or cold.

When I worked on drilling rigs, I used to know a guy who would bring out one of those TV dinners in an aluminum tray and put it on one of the huge diesel engine's manifolds when he got out there; after a few hours, it would be piping hot and he'd enjoy a warm meal on a cold winter's night while the rest of us choked down our baloney sandwiches.

I told my wife (now ex) about it and she bought me a few dinners to put on the manifold, but those old TV dinners really didn't taste very good and I told her not to bother.  I was surprised when she packed me a lunch with a casserole in one of those small loaf pans.  I put it on the manifold when I got out there and sure 'nuff, it was hot when I was ready to eat and it was delicious.  She was pleased when I got home and told her how good it was and how jealous my hands were that I had such a great lunch.  She then started putting in two pans into my lunch, telling me I should share with the guys who worked for me and I did;  usually one was more than I could eat, so I had enough to share with at least one other guy.

My favorite was her broccoli, cheese and rice and she'd usually pack another one - meat loaf, Mexican casserole, sometimes lasagna.  I'd wash out the pans before I brought them home as so to save her from having to scrub out baked on food. 

One day, however, we got busy shortly after I got out there and I didn't get to eat.  I was so tired at the end of the shift, I forgot to retrieve my meal.  That evening my ex asked me where the pans were and I slapped my forehead and told her I had forgotten them and I bet they were still on the manifold.  The next day (with sandwiches in my lunch pail) I got out there and saw one of the pans in my locker, empty, except it hadn't been cleaned.  I got busy again and forgot about the other one.  When shift change came around, one of the guys relieving us said he had found it and eaten it. "Tell yer old lady thanks!"  I told him the least he could have done was taken a water hose to it. When I got home, my ex opened up my lunch box and found it and asked where the other was and I had to plead forgetfulness again.

That didn't make her mood any better, nor did her having to try to scrub out the pan.  With a few choice words, she gave up and chunked the thing into the trash.  "Might as well throw the other one away, too." she scolded me.

I got baloney sandwiches until she bought some more pans.  I think she took her time buying them, too, just to teach me a lesson.

Well, I didn't remember the other pan the next day and it wasn't until the rig move when I discovered the forgotten pan.  I figured it might stink, but as I peeled away the aluminum foil I found nothing but a hard-as-a-rock slab of casserole, petrified by several days of baking on the hot manifold.  I thought I might be able to salvage the pan, but even with a hammer and chisel I couldn't get the remains out of the pan.

I've got another story about hot meals on a drilling rig, but I'll wait a day or two to post it.  I'm sure I've bored you enough with THIS one!

4 comments:

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

Thanks, Laura. I sometimes wonder if anyone cares about my stories. I've got a million of 'em, so I figger at least a few of 'em will interest someone!

Thanks for posting!

Barb said...

Always interesting Mike. When ever I come across that word I think cars, lol.

sharintexas said...

It wasn't as hot as a manifold, but I remember using the old Dearborn heaters to keep a meal warm until Curtis could get home to eat. It got dried out if you kept it in the oven and that was waaaayy before microwaves or even toasted ovens. You learned all sorts of tricks when you had to, didn't you?
I always enjoy your stories, too Michael.