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March 8, 2013

From A to Pee

How much liquid does the human bladder hold?

If you were to ask most women, the answer would probably be "Not enough!" Seriously, the bladder in humans and other mammals is an extremely elastic and expandable muscular sac. The average adult can comfortably hold up to about one-third quart of urine. More urine causes the bladder to become distended and uncomfortable. Each individual is different, of course, so there are wide variations in urine capacity.


It had been a while since I had done trivia and I couldn't remember if I had already posted this one, so I did a quick search. I hadn't, but was surprised that there were quite a few more pee posts.

I'm not really fond of bodily function humor, but one of the earliest jokes I ever remember was my momma saying "Just call me Peepee...I'm all urine." That was funny when I was about ten or so. I guess it still is. It's much funnier than the other similar joke I heard around the same time; counting off: "You're a five, You're a six, you're a seven, you're..."

That's about all the jokes I know about peeing, although when it was raining heavily my dad would say "It's coming down like a cow peein' on a flat rock."  It also reminds me of talking about the differences between men and women with an old girlfriend and she said women can do anything a man can do PLUS have babies.  I told her they couldn't write their names in the snow. 

The next time it snowed I reminded her about her boast and in just a few minutes, she proved me wrong.  Her "writing" wasn't as neat as mine, but to give her credit, it was legible.   It was also hilarious to see.

Oh, there's one more peeing joke I had forgotten.  It's been around as long as I can remember.  The first time I heard it, it had Richard Nixon in it, so that should tell you how old it is.  I'll update it to be current.

One snowy Washington DC morning, President Obama woke up and saw "Obama sucks!" written in the snow on the White House lawn.  He was so enraged, he got the FBI on the case, taking evidence to find out who was the culprit.  A few hours later, they came back to him with the report.

"We hate to have to tell you this...." said the FBI agent.  "Tell me!" commanded the President. "Well, we ran tests and it turns out it's Joe Biden's DNA."  Furious, the President glared at him.  "We have even more bad news, Mr. President." the FBI agent continued.  "What could be worse than having my Vice-President mock me?" asked the President.  "Well..." stammered the FBI man.  "It was in Michelle's handwriting."

OK, enough horrible jokes.  I'm sure they're pushing the G-rated classification of this blog as it is.    I'll just close with this admission:

I suffer from Paruresis.

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